The Repellent Scars of Abandon and Election
The idea of Salvation comes, I believe, from the one whom suffering breaks apart. He who masters it, on the contrary, needs to be broken, to proceed on the path towards the rupture.
Nothing of what man can know, to this end, could be evaded without degradation, without sin, - is it no burdento bear the repellent scars of abandon, of election? - it leaves but a state of supplication and deserted expanses, an absorption into despair. The existence of things cannot enclose the death which it brings to me; the existence is itself projected into my death, and it is my death which encloses it. Am I deranged? Over and above quietism! Nurtured by the multitude of man's misfortunes, a thousand halos like torches in the night of the spirit, a thousand traps, pitfalls of brimstone and the empty sky, prostrated face against the earth in frantic laughter...
I was beyond withstanding my own ignominy. I invoked it and blessed it. I progressed even further into vileness and degradation. Am I resurging, intact, out of infamy?
*Reading it is simple, understanding it is NOT*
I am pretty sure a few others have exprienced these things.
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