Advent

It's almost the beginning of a new year and it's something very traditional to embrace resolutions to better your life. Whether it would be something as drastic as quitting smoking to something that seems to be rarely done, simple goals. I wonder how many people have actually stuck to their resolutions, I for one hasn't. I took part in a few of them for quite some time but I did not receive the results that I had expected. With that being said, I have a new set of goals, to be honest, I think they are easiest that I have ever came up with. They are actually more materialistic goals, if you would even consider them as goals.

1. Purchase a computer, a new ipod within the next 2 months after my tattoo is done.
2. Fly out of California for at least 3 days.
3. Save money for the above and for peace of mind.
4. Purchase less CDs, half the bands I am listening to manage to keep me interested for more than an album
5. Purchase a guitar
6. Improve my drumming

I am sure that's it and I am very confident that many of you thought that quitting smoking would be one them.

. . .

Pissed The Fuck Off!

Alcohol surges through my veins in companionship with utter anger and nicotine to fuel it. I have never been so mad over something so small and in relation with such a topic. I don't get this shit, lessons are never fucking learn, my presence seems to go completely unnoticed. I am livid and I am hysterical. I am tired and the only thing that I able to do is wait and go through a number of hours of work before carrying forth something. What the fuck is this shit? It seems to me as another elephant to be shot only for a person's greed. I am pissed and chances are, speaking out of my fucking ass! I have pulled a fucking Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and I have no intention of stopping. What must be said has be put off for too long or perhaps not long enough.

Full-Time

These last 2 weeks I have been working consistently, I am working full-time hours under a part time title. I hate it, I never asked for the amount of hours and just because I take a shift or two, clerical believes I am in dire need of them and hands me two more days. Despite the unwanted hours, in a way, they actually have been helping me out. My goals are becoming much more clear in regards to what to do. My tattoo is certain, I have put in a down payment and I will finish the payments by my appointment date. Once that is finished, a computer and ipod must be purchased. With 40 hours coming my way on a number of occasions, I should be ok.

"When All My Names Are Scribed, Matter Returns To Divinity"

This will be on my right pec outlined with a nice black shroud around it. In the near future the shroud will expand to lyrics. Viral Kinesis seems to be the one worthy.

Questions

I hate questions. Not all questions of course, but the ones that always have the hardest answers. The questions that really matter and possess consequences that can either make life that much better or far worse. I am currently trying to answer many. Although I have answered a few, such as my tattoo and when will I be getting it? Within the next month I will have enough money to get it, and oh, am I excited. Yeah, that's not that important, neither is this one. It's none of your business. The advent year already has lots planned but the thing about that is, I kind of don't want to do those things any more. I normally look forward to the shows that have already been promoted but I don't really want to go to any. I want to go out of state for a show and explore something new and different. Perhaps the most important of these questions is, should I really go to school? Motivation is near stagnation. Money is such a problem that I want to get things settled first. . .

My thoughts are all over the place, it took me a whole day trying to compile my thoughts into a cohesive unit but it seems to have failed. There are just so many things to be put into consideration. I am overwhelmed.