Meth

Today I tried something new, Meth. It was a waste of my money, an overrated drug hyped up by media attention, but then again, it was my first time. The only thing I felt was a pain in my nose and the nasty taste from what had been dripping. I don't plan on doing this again for any reason other than wanting to experience that feeling, but as of now, I have no urges.

Success!

As of yesterday's drive, my car didn't overheat. I drove a large amount going to Baldwin Park coming back down to Crystal Cove and then back up. Yesterday was great, it didn't end quite the right way, good but not how I wanted it too. And for the first time, I failed to restrain a fart, that opened a new set of doors that I wish could be locked. Tomorrow, I will wake up early and have a breakfast with her, hopefully, all goes well once again. Because I don't have to save up so much money for the car, I will be able to spend just a tad bit more!

Punisher

Today, being the impatient fuck that I am, I told my dad about the possible solution and he decided to take out the thermostat and replace the tube which connects the radiator to the thermostat. As of today's drive around the area, the car becomes significantly cooler with the companionship of a faster speed. Tomorrow, I will be going up to Baldwin Park, hopefully what was experienced today happens tomorrow and the drive up and down, and up and down, becomes worry free.

Rather than purchasing Noctifer albums like I said I was, I made a trip to Second Spin. I purchased Keep of Kalessin's Kolossus and Anthrax' Among the Living. Keep of Kalessin's style of "black metal", I am not a big fan of. I am really trying to get into it, but I have never been a big fan of Melodic Death. The intricate guitar riffs that serve as the conduit for pop, upbeat atmospheres don't please me. Neither do the slight rasp with an increased volume of melodic talking. Whoever claimed this album to be Black Metal, I think you best get your ears checked, the elements of Black Metal that do appear are short lived or they are layered with neck jerking.

While everyone is watching Terminator: Salvation, I was watching Punisher: War Zone, for the second time today. This movie may in fact be my favorite Marvel movie. It contains the cheesyness that comic book movies should have a drop of, a perfect amount of exaggerated gore, and the realism that I enjoy, one of the reasons why I enjoyed Iron Man far more significantly then any other super hero movie. One thing that I wasn't too fond of was the shitty score, godamn, put some good music, not Nu-Metal and perhaps, they should coach the people with accents a bit more, Mexican guy was horrible. I wish this movie was a bit more hyped, at least, hyped enough for me to be aware of, but that actually is pretty difficult. Anyways, I hope there is a second one, I plan on watching that in theatres. I bought the original Punisher: War Zone and I am considering going back and purchasing the 2 disc Special Edition, hell, I am even going to start collecting his series on paperback.

this should be part of the soundtrack

Lifted

I spoke with Andy today regarding mechanical problems and I have had a great weight lifted off my shoulders. His confidence of the solution to my car troubles is backed up with a hefty amount of evidence which stimulates a sense of hope. Perhaps, my summer won't be so dull. Despite the hope, there is still a sense of negativity which lingers, but I think this is the solution. And of course, I should still save up for a new car, it will provide me with peace of mind for a sufficient amount of time.

Onto other news, I have been listening to Noctifer quite avidly. The band is odd, the composition remains generic but the vocal patterns are questionable. The vocals are presented during odd times, a vocal melody is heard yet no vocals. It definitely adds a new twist, I am very certain I will purchase their cd tomorrow. In addition to their abstract presentation of vocals, they seem to have grasped the true understanding of NS. This high dose of War-themed Black Metal has gotten my blood pumping, I feel like strapping on my bullet belt, put on my ski mask, and wreak havoc, too bad, I have been sober for nearly 2 months and actually plan on continuing.

SIEG!!!!!!


Congrats to Mike for obtaining a job!
And a personal FUCK YOU! to Stever for flaking out on an interview that he referred me too!

I still remember

Summer

Summer tends to be my favorite season because I can bathe in the sun and in the oceans. I can have my time well spent with the best of friends. I can bang my head to the audio torment displayed at the Black Castle. And I can make much more money and spend it all on the above and more. Unfortunately, I can't do that this Summer. After moving into the new house, I have begun to become more independent, I have relied less on my parents and have cut back on numerous things to continue living. Although I prefer music over food, food over gas, I can't continue living how I am. I changed my availability at work to become near 40 hours a week, which leaves little room for anything. I hate to say this but I probably won't see more then half of you as often as we have previous summers. I want to continue this relationship I am building up and I can't continue it for very long till a new car is in my hands, so I plan on saving the majority of my check for that car. A new car would also help me in numerous objectives in life. I can drive a further distance and I can be the one driving to Vegas. For those curious a Scion xB is still desired, but I am willing to settle for something cheaper if necessary. My spending habits are going to change drastically in the past month, I have only purchased 2 Cds, in the past 2 months, 4 Cds when before 2 months would be equivalent to 20+ CDs. Fuck, this is life after high school, a hole dug to harbor your financial deficits, emotional weaknesses, and the purpose of life thrown away. If you haven't graduated high school, apply to a good college, have your goal set. Learn from other people's mistakes, I failed to do so.

I am aware of the wrong season haha

Overheated

These past few days have been the vessel of such tumultuous events. Let's begin with something that has been old news for quite some time, my internet has become unreliable yet again. Although, this has happen numerous of times I have finally adapted to the effects of not having internet. In addition to unreliable internet, my car has become unreliable. I made a trip up to Baldwin Park and my car began to overheat. It was definitely a frightening moment, so as of now, I will have to carry and spend a hefty amount of Coolant. Hopefully, the damage is caused due to the scorching heat that is experienced in that area and nothing on a more deeper level. But what has come up is this, I will be doing a . . . PICNIC!!!!

Idiot

One of my co-workers that believes that Iraq is underneath Egypt decided to bring Religion and how his Christianity is Fact. His argument, "I have evidence that God is real, I exist". The worst argument I have ever heard, I didn't think anybody was that stupid, especially a 28 year old. Anyways, lately, I have been in the mood for Pollo Campero, unfortunately that will have to wait, they really need to open one down here.

The latest output from Ad Hominem. An amazing effort but sub par to Climax of Hatred.

FOLLOW. SERVE. OBEY. WORSHIP!

Teased

As planned, I made a trip to Hollywood with Ursula but it was so close to not happening. Prior to our departure we were at a friend's birthday party which seemed to get going, but do to various events we had to leave and come back, so that we did. Parking was a bitch, I hate Hollywood for how greedy some of these people can be, 20 dollars for parking, but it was what had to be done. After Ursula had purchased her bullet belt and I finally got an estimate on my leather pants, we headed on over. The ride was back was for the most part silent, I provoked the silence by not giving up a cigarette, 6.80 for a pack is a hefty price, and I think I was generous enough, I distributed like 6 ciggs. Thankfully, I bought a new one so I still have plenty left. As soon as we made our way back to the party, I had lent them my Beer Bong which seemed to be used significantly. The party was over so Ursula and I decided just to hang out and the night ended with my eyes closed and a peck on the . . . CHEEK!

Some more Austere, I couldn't wait for my CD to come in so until I receive it I will be listening to a downloaded version.

I've given and taken and given,
Now in my world of only your vision.
Faces of white wrapped in delicate decay,
Oh please, why won't you take me away?

Reaching toward a pale illusion,
One which will never become real.
Just suppose for a moment,
It was not just a dream...

Some more Austere, I couldn't wait for my CD to come in so until I receive it I will be listening to a downloaded version.

Magnficent

Oh, such a breathtaking sight,
Of purest beauty and innocence.
Uncorrupted by this cruel world,
Spirits not crushed by this cold life.
I can't look away...

You bathe in the sunlight of spring,
While I'm forever stuck in this dreary autumn.
Like a flower that will never bloom,
Forever in this dreary autumn.

You glow with the warmth of the sun,
But your rays don't reach me.
In the cold, dreary autumn,
The sun doesn't warm...

This dreadful emptiness,
The cold, cold world.
You slammed the door on me,
you locked me in the cold.

I craved your warmth,
But it was to late.
Too late you realized,
That I was in the cold.

I am sold, this song sends chills through my body. From the very shrieks to the atmospheric tone that this song has created, it does bring myself to sadness yet I see a sense of hope in it. Not very many bands have managed to do so. They have definitely matured with their use of clean vocals, great song structures, strategically placed keyboards, and subtle drum patterns I don't understand why I hated this at first. Perhaps it was because my musical tastes were immature, my palate was not ready for such magnificence. The use of theory is evident, this is not mindless "I like the way it sounds", it's music that plays tricks on you, sends you through a roller coaster, sends you through Life. They've thrown away their use of pseudonyms and corpse paint, and all it has done is promote their seriousness. This song contains the much needed hope that I had always wished for. I have delved into death to come out with the desire to live. . .

So Sad. . .

Friday. . .

Is coming up too slowly. My original plans for this Friday were to actually go clubbing at Das Bunker. Sadly, that did not go as planned, but I plan on going to Hollywood and doing some shopping. Hopefully that goes as planned, but if not, I benefit out of it in the long run. I honestly want to just call out tomorrow or put my shift up to speed up the time by doing something much more interesting, possibly start my 300 workout, appropriately 200 since I won't be doing 300 reps. I think I will actually put up my shift up. I deserve a break, or perhaps that is just my brain coming up with a half assed excuse to justify my reasoning. A lost of 56 dollars roughly won't ruin my plans that I have for my next check as they aren't so extravagant.

I find this growing on me, I hated it at first, but overtime it has reached "OK"

Continuum

So many questions have been brought up and so little have been answered. Although my hunger remains, I have managed to control it for some extent. Things have been going smoothly and my only option now is to continue such a path. It does have it's set of pot holes and risks, but I do see the destination's rewards are abundant.

Onto other news, being unable to sign on to the internet has become . . . interesting. I am beginning to stimulate my mind by reading books, listening to music that hasn't be listened to often, and I have just been relaxing. I never noticed how much time is wasted on the computer although sometimes the computer is necessary but too much time deals a significant amount of damage. I kind of enjoy the inability to connect to the world. Seeing that the world, unfortunately, relies on the internet, I am unable to continue this way of living for a lengthy amount of time.

Continuum

Due to the fact that I have been without internet and knowing that my internet is completely unreliable, I think it is best to just post a series of blogs regarding all the things that I have had on my mind.

Anyways, the Swine Flue has proven to take the nation by storm. It's amazing how something such as this has kept everyone on edge, within the first day of the outbreak, hand sanitizers "flu" off the shelves. This is in fact a perfect example of the viewers being fed whatever is propagated through the media. The majority of hand sanitizers kill germs, not Bacteria, the virus is transmitted through bacteria, although you do kill germs, the bacteria engulfs the hand by your actions of utilizing the hand sanitizers. Be aware also that this flu has only taken the life of one two year old boy, an unhealthy boy to add on top. The older kids in America that has had the virus has managed to fight it off.